


Runaway Trolls

by Gamzee_Makaraoni



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, Loophole, Mother of One, Petstuck, Sadstuck, UFUT, Unwanted Free Ugly Troll, really shitty story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-28
Updated: 2014-06-03
Packaged: 2017-12-27 20:40:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/983364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gamzee_Makaraoni/pseuds/Gamzee_Makaraoni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you open the door, you launch into the mini-speech that you had just come up with. "Roxy, dear, you should know better by now than to leave without at least checking for your key-"<br/>As you unlock it, the door swings open and you, Rose Lalonde, stop mid-sentence. ((Inspired by Loophole, UFUT, and Mother of One.))</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Loophole](https://archiveofourown.org/works/527502) by [saccharineSylph](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saccharineSylph/pseuds/saccharineSylph). 



> So, yeah, this is based off of "Loophole" and "UFUT" and a little off of "Mother of One."  
> Anyways, I noticed that Rose was never mentioned in "Loophole" or "UFUT," and it really got me thinking.  
> And now here's this.  
> Enjoy?

Your name is Rose Lalonde, and this night is perfect.  
Of course, it's windy outside, and the weatherman promised a good chance of snow. For once, he's probably right.  
But here you are, alone in your house, curled up on the couch with a good novel and a cup of piping hot cocoa next to you.  
As a writer, you are often alone at night, since that is when your sister, Roxy, is out in the nearest town. What is she doing? Running her bar/club, which is the hottest one in town. It is also the only one. It does attract a great deal of people, though. You've never been there, seeing how you highly disapprove of drinking, and have tried to get your sister to stop, before what happened to your mother happens to her.  
Ah, your dear mother, the drunkard. How you miss her so, how you miss her attempts to show you that she also enjoys wizards. Alas, she died of liver failure when you were 16. She left you and Roxy, who was then 19, the house and everything, trusting it all to your sister.  
That was when two things happened. First, that was when Roxy started to drink. Second, that was when you started to drift away from your Internet friends, whose names you can just barely remember. Jade, John, and...Dave, wasn't it?  
You knew that Jade and John were siblings, and they had a brother named Jake. Dave also had a brother, though he never mentioned his name. Always called him Bro.  
Why are you reminiscing about the past? It's been 7 years, and you have just turned 23. No need to think about times past, not when you have a novel to read.  
Though you thoroughly enjoy wizards, you also like Stephen King. And tonight, you have decided to reread one of your personal favorites by him: "The Shining."  
'"Your daddy . . . sometimes he does things he's sorry for later. Sometimes he doesn't-"'  
Knock knock knock.  
You jump a little, startled. Is it Roxy? A quick glance at your watch tells you no. She's usually home past midnight, not 10:56. You frown as you look out the window. The wind is blowing hard, and, yes, it IS snowing. She probably just closed up early, because of the miniature blizzard that seems to have struck you, and left the key. Or maybe she's drunk again, and doesn't realize she has it.  
You hear the knock again. Sighing, you set down the book, get up, and head to the door. "Roxy, dear sister, I'm coming, don't get your liquor in a twist." Oh, why now? You were just getting into the mood.  
Sighing, you throw off your comfy blanket and get off the couch, heading towards the front door, which is rather far from the spacious living room.  
When you open the door, you launch into the mini-speech that you had just come up with. "Roxy, dear, you should know better by now than to leave without at least checking for your key-"  
As you unlock it, the door swings open and you, Rose Lalonde, stop mid-sentence.  
Instead of your drunkard sister, a tall female is standing on the doorstep with two children in tow; all three with ripped clothing and dirt everywhere, looking as if they haven't eaten in weeks. The smallest one, a girl perhaps, is clutching to the woman's leg, shivering. Your heart melts a little as you take in the sight. The other one, definitely a boy, is taller than the girl and doesn't seem to know what he is doing, as he is staring off into space. What is there to interest him, you wonder? You then look at the unexpected guests again and gasp as the detail that you had missed before.  
All three of them have horns.  
***  
"Thank you, Miss..." The female of earlier trails off, and you realize she doesn't know your name.  
You had the kindness in your heart to let them in, and you brought them all to the kitchen, where there is no carpet, only tiles. That way, you won't have to clean up much.  
"Rose Lalonde. And what might yours be, may I ask?"  
She pauses for a moment, as if to remember. "Kanaya. Kanaya Maryam," she replies, in a smooth tone with just the slightest trace of a British accent.  
She is tall, no doubt about it, with pale skin so bright it's nearly white. Her lips are solid black, like her hair. She wears an emaciated dress, with soggy spots and dirt and tears everywhere you look at it. It's as though she had been attacked by a brutal group of men. Though the horns are likely to turn all males away. Is this some sort of weird cosplay? You don't think so.  
One of the horns is bent over, as if somebody had pushed it flat (Maybe they had). Her tail flickers nervously as well, like she isn't used to places such as this. Not very many people are. You notice the teeth-well, fangs-protruding from her mouth. They're yellow and in need of a good brushing. How on Earth...  
The other two had sat in silence, taking in their surroundings. You wonder if they'd ever been inside a house before, much less the mansion that you preside in.  
Indeed, the smaller one was a girl, barely up to your knee. Her hair is long and wild, with twigs and leaves jammed in which way and that. She's stopped shivering and stays close to the other female-Kanaya, you remind yourself-but hasn't said anything so far. She has catlike eyes, quick and darting, and horns like a cat's ears as well. Her dress is barely more than a rag, in better condition than the fe-Kanaya's own, but not by much. By her looks, she seems about...six? Seven?  
The other troll is nearly as tall as your waist, and has a dopey smile. Out of the three, he is the best-dressed, with actual shorts with pockets and a maroon t-shirt riddled with holes. He probably hasn't been on the run that long, though his hair says otherwise. You cringe to yourself; taking in the unruly curls, the dirt, the snow. Ugh.  
Parts of his face seem paler than the others, and the paler areas are all smushed around. He has long, elegant horns, though it must be a pain to get his clothes off with his horns like that. As he turns towards you, you notice a slight bulge in one of his pockets. Let's hope it's not what you think it is. A boy of probably about 8 or 9 is too young for that.  
"Damn, sister, this place is bitchtits amazing."  
Or maybe he is not.  
For once, you have been rendered speechless, though your mouth is not hanging open (Thank goodness). What kind of parents would teach their child that word?! Preposterous!  
Kanaya groaned softly. "I apologize, I have no idea where Gamzee picked up that language, those of 4 should not be saying such things."  
You give her a queer look. 4? Ah, you'll ask about it later, along with the strange names.  
"So, he is Gamzee, you are Kanaya, and who might be this little one?"  
The little one grins up at you, tail swishing side to side excitedly and she wriggles a little. Tail? Oh, there is one, attached to her dress. You just noticed it. It's as in poor condition as the dress, though. "I Nepeta the Kittycat! See my tail? I go RAWR!" She rolls her fingers into claws and opens her mouth wide. She shuts it again, grinning. "Your house pretty!"  
"Why, thank you." Your house is quite lovely and spacious, though there is still clutter every which way, clutter that your mom had left, such as that silky old bronze vaccum and those wizard propaganda. You haven't the heart to clean it out yet. But it doesn't take away from the fact that the house is an architectural wonder, practically a Frank Lloyd Wright. Many people would die for this house, the angles, the rooms, the observatory, the deck. But you and your sister have it now wa-ha-ha-ha-ha.  
Ahem. You are getting a little off-track.  
You ask, "So, what-exactly-brings you three out here to the realm of the woods?" You house is so detached from civilization; how did they find it? "There IS a town nearby, you know."  
Kanaya (Now you're thinking of her as that, instead of a female something-or-other), stays quiet for a moment. When she answers you, you detect a bit of a tremor in her voice. "We don't want anyone to find us."  
You frown a little. "Aren't you lost? Shouldn't you want someone to find you? I'm surprised those horns haven't fallen off." People these days. Though she's rather nuts to drag two children into this.  
She gives you a look. "The horns are attached."  
"To the wig?"  
"This isn't a wig."  
"What do you mean?"  
Kanaya reaches up and grabs her horn, the bent one, and a curious look washes over her face. She shakes her head and then pulls at the horn.  
It doesn't come off.  
Now you are beginning to get a little freaked out. "Is this some type of prank?"  
"Are you saying you do not know what we are?"  
Just as you open your mouth to answer, a door slams open.  
As if they had rehearsed it, Nepeta runs over to Kanaya, hiding behind her, while Gamzee stands up and glares fiercely in the direction of the noise.  
"Oh, Roooooooosiiiieeeeeeee!" a voice coos.  
You sigh. "That would be my sister."  
Roxy Lalonde, the elder of you and drunkard extraordinaire, walks into the room.  
Well, more like WOBBLES in.  
Her (normally) perfectly styled blonde-ginger hair is disheleved, the pink streaks here and there. One sock is missing, though you're surprised to see she has both shoes on this time. The dress seems to be the only thing intact. Even her mascara is smudged, and there is lipstick all over her face.  
Oh, yes, you nearly forgot: You and your sister are both homosexual. This prompted some name-calling in the past (Rose and Roxy Lalesbian) but they're not laughing now, are they?  
"Rosie!" Your sister staggers up to you, the smell of alcohol filling in the room. "Er mer gerdz, I was just with Callie right now, and you will not BELIEVE it!"  
With her slurred speech, it's more like "Er mer gerdz, ay wuz jest wit Cawlli rite nwo, n yuo wil not BLEAVE eet!" Alas, that is how she types as well.  
You suppose that you should say who Callie is.  
You do not know her real name (only your sister does) since she prefers Callie, which was the name of a character she had made when she was younger. Callie is your sister's girlfriend.  
Unfortunately, Callie had inherited a horrible family genetic disease, causing her to have no hair and something terrible happening to her skin. You have no idea what it was. Fortunately, it wasn't fatal.  
Callie's only living relative is her twin brother, whom she doesn't mention at all (and if she does, then not by name). She wears a messy white wig and makeup whenever you come visit her in her house (which is rare), since she is not comfortable with others seeing her in her condition, besides your sister. You wonder where she gets her money from, since she can't get a job.  
Your sister's voice jolts you out of your reverie.  
"Also, there's a new girl in the club! Er, town or *hic* whatevs. Her name is Janie Something-Or-Other, and she is the best! Maybe she'll be my *hic* BFFsie!"  
"Janie? Is that short for something?"  
"Yes, it's short for Jane!" Roxy hiccups, and you notice an empty shot glass in her hand. You gently pry it out, while Roxy chatters on and on.  
" ...And I TOTES thought Jane was a boy at first! I mean, holy shit, her black hair is so short! But *hic* she has really pretty blue eyes-Hey, who's that?"  
You wince. Dammit, you forgot about your uninvited guests. "Um, yes, I was just getting to that. That is Kanaya Maryam, and Nepeta and Gamzee-"  
"Oh em GEE, are you a troll? Or am I just seeing *hic* things?" Roxy wonders aloud as she peers at Kanaya, taking in the female with her luminous pink eyes, in sharp contrast to your own violet.  
"A what?" You ask.  
Roxy swivels her head around to face you, gasping. "You've never heard of TROLLS?!"


	2. The Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, guys, thanks for all the lovely feedback!
> 
> I'm planning to have a regular update schedule around the end of October. It would be arranged sooner but A) I just finished "The Faults In Our Stars" and it threw me off track of my writing; B) MY BIRTHDAY IS OCTOBER 20TH WOOP WOOP; and C) I'm on the crew for the school play, so I have to be at rehearsals and shit until near the end of October. To be more specific, I'm head of the set/props crew ^u^
> 
> Blaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrgh.

Your lips curl into a frown. "I have never heard of them."

"Rosie, when was the last time you've left the house?" Your sisters asks, seeming a little more sober than before. At least the hiccuping stopped. 

You mentally count the days in your head. Hmm...wasn't it October 20th? "The Monday of last week, October 14th, to get groceries."

Hey, you couldn't always get out. Novels to write, books to read (That, and the townsfolk called you eccentric-which meant that they thought you were off your rocker, so you didn't really have much to talk about).

"Newspaper? TV?" Your sister prompted. 

"Roxy, you know I don't approve of that. It's all mindless pop news, extremely dumb, and I never bother to read or watch it."

"Well, you gotta get with the times somehow! So, this, like, island was discovered, and the people of these guys-" Here your sister gestured towards the arrivals, who haven't spoken for a little while, tails flickering nervously. "-Were on it! So then everyone flipped their shit and started selling them as pets! Mostly for the rich and famous, though the lower-blooded cost less."

Pets, eh? Makes sense, seeing the tails and horns and all. Probably lovely pets. 

Okay, not really. Back to the conversation. "Lower-blooded?"

"Yeah, they have this weird-ass thingy called a homo-something-"

"Hemospectrum," Kanaya calmly corrects.

"Hemospectrum based on blood color, in rainbow order. Red is the lowest, then brown, yellow, green, jade, teal, colbat, indigo, purple, violet, and fuchsia as the highest!"

Kanaya looked slightly miffed. 

You inquire, "How do you know all this? Usually, you're so drunk you can't remember your own name." True story. 

"These four guys were talking about it near the bar, and I asked a few questions while wonking (She winks exaggeratedly) and found all that out! Then they started talking about felt and I was all 'lol what you guys don't seem like the type of people to talk about felt" and they were like 'not THAT type' and then they talked about scratches and doctors and this Doctor Who fan got offended and a fight started and I got pissed and closed early since I was gonna go see Callie anyways and then I bumped into Janie and she was all 'oh sorry' and I was all 'no that was TOTES me' and she laughed and she has this really good southern accent like wow-" Roxy yawns loudly. "It was so yummy and we talked more and I was like 'oh shit gotta go see Callie' and she was all 'who' and I said 'oh she's my GF' and she was like 'oh okay do you have a chumhandle cause mine's gustygumshoe' and I was all back at her 'oh HELL yeah mine's tipsygnostalgic' and that's how we met!"

"That old site is still around?" you manage. 

"Uh-huh!"

"Ahem."

You and Roxy both startle. You forgot the trolls were there. You turn to see that Kanaya had placed her hands on Nepeta's ears, and Gamzee was covering her own. 

"What's wrong?" you ponder aloud.  
Kanaya seems to struggle with answering, and when she does have an answer, it was short, brief, and quite mysterious. "The doctor they were talking of is not the doctor of your human show."

You frown. "Then who?"

Kanaya just shakes her head, her lips pursed. You'll have to find out more later.

Roxy squeals, making you practically jump out of your skin again. "Oh em GEE! You guys HAVE to have a place to stay and SOOOOOOOOO get clean! Rosie, could they PLEASE use our spare rooms?"

Ugh. The house may be big, but two people plus three pets seemed too big for you. Also, didn't you just get the sheets clean? But Roxy is doing her Bambi-eyes thing, where her eyes become all huge and glorious, and you know that you cannot refuse. That, and she'd make you feel guilty for years about it. It's times like these that you wonder who is the elder sister.

You sigh, "Alright, but just for tonight."

"Really?"

"For as long as they need it, then."

Roxy's entire face lights up like a Christmas tree. Nepeta, who has managed to wiggle free of Kanaya's grasp, smiles just as wide and starts leaping about. "Yay! Yay! Nepeta have home! Kittycat have home!"

Oh, damn it. With your sister's obsession with cats, Nepeta won't be leaving for awhile. Speaking of which, where was Jaspers and Mutie? You'd expect them to be around here. Must be the scent of these "trolls." Unfamiliar smells of other animals often make cats and such hide. 

"Cats? You like cats?" Roxy's eyes, now back to normal, begin to shine again. 

"No! I AM cat! Nepeta is cat!"

Roxy lets out a little scream and picks her up, cuddling her close. "You are just so CUTE! C'mon, let's get you all cleaned up and adorable!" Still holding the young troll girl, she walks in the direction of her room, laughing all the way as Nepeta giggles too. 

Now you are left alone with Kanaya and Gamzee. Gamzee, who had sat down on the floor earlier, is now craning his neck as he gazes around your house, wide-eyed and slack-jawed. Kanaya is giving him a small look of disapproval. 

Awkwardly, you clear you throat. "So, um...That was my sister."

"We accept your offer for staying for the night." Kanaya's tone is brisk and clear, but you can tell that she is simmering with anger inside, from the tightened muscles around her neck and jaw, and the way her hands are folded in her lap. You cannot tell why she is like this, however. What have you said to upset her so?

"Gamzee. Come. It is high time that we bathe. You must get that makeup off of you."

"Awwwww, but how else am I supposed to show my support for the miracles and miraculous?"

"There are other ways, child. There are other ways."

In the back of your mind, a tiny voice whispers something about Kanaya's voice. You shake it off. A quick glance at the clock tells you that it is 12:07. High time for you to be in bed. 

***

"Ugh..."

You shove your head under a pillow as the morning light starts to stream in. No, not morning, not now. It's too early. You just want to sleep. 

Your tired-yet-waking mind tells you to get up, that something isn't right. 

"Mmph..." Geez, who opened the windows? Roxy knew you hated that. 

Roxy. 

Your eyes jolt open as last night's memories come rushing back. 

Roxy was drunk, so she should be having a hangover, meaning that the three others probably opened those curtains. 

"Rosie! Rosie Rosie Rosie!"

And you're pretty sure you knew which one. 

"Rosie! Up! Up up up! Sunny! Moring! Up! Go! Go go go!"

You roll over to see Nepeta grinning at you widely, her catlike fangs peeping out. They're slightly yellow, you note. Also, she is no longer wearing the dress, but an old shirt instead. It was an old shirt of Roxy's, a black one with the Leo sign on it (Her zodiac sign). 

Oh, yes, that day. Your mother was wearing hers (Virgo) and you were wearing an oversized Capricorn shirt, though your sign is Saggitarius (Never let a drunk mother on the phone). It was a meteor shower that night you wore those shirts, and the whole town had gathered out to see. 

Didn't you throw away those old shirts?

"Looky! I haz shirt! Shirt big! Shirt big! Shirt big for Nepeta!" The troll girl breaks out into a fit of giggles. She looks so happy and adorable, like it's Christmas. 

"Rosie! Brekkie! Brekkie brekkie brekkie!"

"Breakfast?"

"Brekkie! Cakes! Cakes cakes cakes cakes cakes cakes! Yum! Kitty wants cakes!"  
Now that she mentions it, you can smell pancakes in the air. Was Roxy really as drunk as you thought she was? She was more sober than usual, since she noticed the trolls almost right away. Usually, it would take her almost a full minute to realize that a chair was blocking her way out of a room. And then she would panick and flail her arms about. 

"ROOOOSSSIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Ugh. Might as well get out of bed.  
Tossing aside your covers, you throw your bathrobe over your shoulders; tying the little rope together at the middle into a neat little bow. Nepeta wriggles her tail again.

"Yay! C'mon!" 

She grabs you by the hand and drags you towards the kitchen. You break your hand free of her surprisingly strong grasp, since you weren't exactly comfortable with it. She looks a little disappointed, but regains her peppy energy and bounds alongside you. 

"Cakes! Yum cakes! Mmmmmm!"

"Could you be a little more quiet?" you mutter under your breath, not intending for her to hear. 

"Okay. Kittycat quiet." She slows down her pace a little and shuts her mouth.  
Not for the first time, you wonder what is up with this troll.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BEFORE ANYONE SAYS ANYTHING:
> 
> Yes, I KNOW that Rose is seeing the trolls as merely pets. Then again, she found them under weird circumstances, and doesn't know them as anything other than pets. Roxy also sees them as pets, but realizes they're far more human than animal. (Rose realized much later.)
> 
> Also, I've decided to give out my Tumblr! (Please don't comment on my age.) It's Gamzee-Makaraoni! C:
> 
> And I apologize for the weird formatting, I don't know what's up with it.


	3. Author's Note

Hey, guys, it's me. Wow, I completely forgot about this! I really want to rewrite this, so I'm deleting this and then reuploading it, preferably with a different name. What do you guys think I should rename it? Anyways, I'll be writing with an actual story arc this time and more characterization, I've been lenient in those areas.   
So, uh, yeahhh.   
Sorry for being do crazy busy and forgetting about this, I'll try uploading the new one and remove this by next Monday, and uploadin the new one before next Friday, I'll be on a crazy-long road trip then!

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaaaaaand CUT!  
> First off, I made up Calliope's disease. I knew cancer was sensitive for many people (My grandma nearly got breast cancer), so I didn't want to hurt anyone. I only added the hair falling out because it made a little more sense instead of her just plain shaving it off.  
> I don't know what to call the disease, so I'll leave a blank for now.  
> If it resembles any disease you know of that has taken someone close to you, I apologize SO MUCH, I didn't mean for that to happen.  
> Also, her disease is not fatal.  
> Bluh, this is probably the shittiest thing I've ever written.  
> Welp.  
> Deranged Shadow Fangirl


End file.
